The Myth of ‘Small Children, Small Problems...’
"The responsibility of single-handedly keeping your offsprings’ organs and extremities safe, and doing so on very little sleep, bears little resemblance to the times ahead."
As a mom with a reasonably definitive collection of mom memories, I want to declare the cliche 'Small children, small problems…' as pessimistic, discouraging, and mostly inaccurate. It's my backwards attempt at encouragement.
If you have reached the point in your parenting where you can sit down and tackle those pressing kid-related issues in a seated or otherwise stationary position, and if you can formulate your thoughts slowly and deliberately, you're at a remarkable advantage, and your kids are probably no longer babies or toddlers.
If you can do so after a whole night's sleep, regard that as fortune beyond measure. In case any of us need reminding (due to fatigue, for example), it's no secret that the ability to sleep nights impacts our quality of life. Make that highly impacts our quality of life.
So, perhaps you’re not there just yet. You constantly await the next disaster or are unconsciously still trying to anticipate it. You doubt whether you can keep your child safe all day or even for the next few minutes, given his or her limited skill set and lack of a few necessary instincts (such as not freefalling backwards off the ladder at the playground). These are indeed big problems. And your nervous system takes a huge hit juggling your need to help these tiny beings survive and thrive, your need to appear regulated in their their presence and in general, your need for a long nap and your need to try not to think about the bedtime routine that awaits, all for you to finally get to bed just to be woken up rather shortly after by a tiny human who never wanted his or her own bedroom in the first place.
By my standards, the responsibility of single-handedly keeping your offsprings' organs and extremities safe, and doing so on very little sleep, bears little resemblance to the times ahead.
Let me qualify the above by telling you that I'm speaking from experience and, without a doubt, did have my fair share of kid-related difficulties to tackle. And here's how I tended to go about things only once I began to sleep a reasonable amount and my kids could safely navigate playground apparatus in a way that allowed my breathing to remain steady. I did one or some of the following:
Sat quietly with my thoughts to see if I had answers to the issues that arose
Consulted my husband to see what we could come up with together
Contacted relevant individuals at the relevant institutions to get more information
Consulted with friends and friends of friends to see if they knew things that I did not
Gathered information from various sources - while seated
Asked for expert referrals - after a good night's sleep
Contacted experts - still seated.
I made appointments and so forth and followed through on solutions that made sense to me.
Drove to things a lot.
A bit like being the CEO of your life but without an administrative assistant. But I would choose that any day of the week over being on alert at a playground on very little sleep, with tiny children. Not to mention managing, afterward, the evening and night-time routine on that same amount of energy, now further depleted.
Furthermore, these years are called 'formative', at a time when our entire sleepless beings' behaviors and overall demeanor are being absorbed by our still rather helpless, spongy offspring. Uh huh - we’re 'forming' them. Our reactions and responses are crucial. It's an enormous responsibility with long-term implications. Knocking that out of the park calls for greatness of another dimension.
If this is where you are in life, please give yourself a big hug from me.
Let me end with a warning. What eventually replaces lack of sleep is excessive driving. It's what many of us end up doing, for one good reason or another. If you like to drive even less than you like playground duty and bath time, and do not have a chauffeur, you may end up in a bind. Otherwise, I encourage you to feel optimistic about the future.
Cheers to the future and to tackling issues after an amazing night's sleep.